I Was Told to Bring Something Funny

The gift this party will fight over. The Standing Commission on Seasonal Exchange has ruled. The rules of White Elephant fit on one page of this book, so the argument ends before it starts. Whoever is holding the book gets privileges nobody else in the room has. Whoever ends the night with it takes it home, brings it back next year, and enters the theft in the record. Inside the book- Rules in 60 Seconds: the whole exchange on one page, in nine rules. Numbered turns, a gift can be stolen three times, and the third steal freezes it.- The Official Rules, for when the room disagrees: variants for eight gifts or fewer, for fifteen players or more, and for a party that has looked at the time, plus rulings on the immediate steal-back, arriving late, and the gift that is obviously over the spending limit.- Seven party games for 6 to 20 players, 5 to 12 minutes each, using only what is already in the room: the furniture votes on five motions, the room is measured in books, and the wrapping paper is disposed of in volleys.- Sixteen Holder Privileges, small and ceremonial, for whoever is holding the book, from the Ceremonial Defense to the Seat of Honor.- The Chain of Custody: one page for each of six parties, recording who opened it, who stole it, and who took it home, plus a register of every privilege used.- Sixteen facts nobody asked for, about Christmas lights, gingerbread houses, stockings, and gift exchanges, each one checked against its source.- Every joke that could pass for a rule is marked with a small winking face, so nobody has to ask. Wrapped, it goes into the pile like any other gift. After six parties it retires, and its final owner keeps it for good. Part of The Honest Gift Collection, with I Panicked and Bought You a Book, for Secret Santa at the office, and I…